Dieselpunks

Dieselpunk + Steampunk Culture

Here is a little piece of something I am working on. The actual story will be far more descriptive and visual(with some smells added).


A visceral grind resonated with vibrations similar to those which a bird projects. Their origin was the brass jugular of the massive hybrid. Its yellowed wings pounded the blue with a steadily decaying force. The dusty red of its scales screeched a high-pitched groan as the the colossal effort to come this far just for nothing became increasingly more apparent to the terrible creature. Unnaturally dulled to physical pain on its normal day, the rusting beast of the sky was facing its own mortality, just like all of its victims did before they were effortlessly dispersed.

Struggling with all the effort left in its body, the titan was on the verge of panic. Such a grand malevolent creature that had terrorized the skies and land animals for so long was mere hair breadths away from complete shut down. Its cracking levers tiring down and its bleeding heart leaking Petrol into the giant blue with its haven nowhere to be seen. With its final brain functions, it reasoned that they would not allow it to deteriorate so far and low in the blue. Surely they would have enough grace and consideration to allow it to die with the honor it had earned: a violent send off at the top of the universe.

The culling horn sounded and the surprised creature felt gallons of fuel burst forth from its heart. Before it a rounded shape to large for one's field of vision steadily emerged through the light shroud.

Hundreds of feet below the ad screen, hovering over the eight way intersection, on a wide yet unsettling ledge was two young musicians playing for cheap monetary gain and brief personal enjoyment. The dark skinned fellow fingered an accompanying bass part while his light skinned partner issued out a breezy, alternating melody. They were the only ones in the city that still played acoustic instruments and, for the few pedestrians that still traversed these "sidewalks" on this multi-level road, it was nice break from the snobbish classical instruments players and angsty electronic music players. However, it was a rarity for someone to actually spare a mark or more and, anytime someone actually did, they were usually subject to a game the eccentric one had begun to pass the time in this smoking black and gray city.

A vertical train car shot upward to the station a few stories above the musicians causing Rodney to stutter and stop playing his guitar. Calvin followed suit and prepared himself.

"That is really going to get old quick." Rodney sighed as he stepped over to the edge of the sidewalk, looking out over the shaded, criss-crossing floating cars tearing across dirty air. "Doesn't anybody understand what a speed limit is?" He chanced a lean forward and hawked over the edge, hoping his saliva might stain the windshield of some idiot's speeding car.

He grunted as he was granted no such luck and returned to his spot. "Why the hell does there have to be cars that travel up and down, anyhow? Isn't forward and sideways sufficient?"

The train cam roaring down, blowing the music sheets that were held down out into the furious road rage below.

Calvin clenched the golden figure around his neck. "Apparently not."

Rodney looked over at him and smiled. "Let's go before we are arrested for littering."

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I started some revisions. Check out the attached.
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Yeah, there was some goof up and typos-to be expected from a rough draft-that were not entirely intentional. One example would be the capitalization of petrol-in German it is capitalized.

Despite how short and how little detail there is, it is pretty good for something written at 12:00 in morning. :D

The most pressing revision in terms of grammar and sentence structure would be the first sentence(The first two sentences should be combined).

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