Dieselpunks

Dieselpunk + Steampunk Culture

This is a companion piece to the "Male Sexuality" thread...  

I thought I would wait for someone to step up and start this thread, as I'm at a loss for what to say that I didn't already say in the other thread.

Does anyone else observe we are returning to femininity? Sometimes it seems we're at a loss for what this means.

Some of us take it to mean a return to 1950s femininity, which (IMO) was a completely artificial construct that more resembled a child than a grown woman.  

And some of us take it to mean that feminism is to be completely discarded... my feeling is that it's an economic and political movement that women brought home. People shouldn't feel compelled to all be the same. This sameness is stifling and it's just... not very sexy :)

What does it mean to be a woman, to you? Do you identify with a model of womanhood that existed prior to the 1950s? Who are your role models, and do you find yourself returning to an older model of womanhood? 

Men, what do you think of all of this? 

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I'm coming a bit late to the party here, but I found this discussion to be fascinating and wanted to throw in my two pence worth!

 

I believe in equality for everyone, regardless of race, gender, sexual preference, religion etc. But as far as feminism goes, I feel that (these days at least) it is much more to do with elevating women above men rather than demanding equality. A lot of 'feminists' that I have met have had hostile attitudes towards men, which in turn causes men to feel hostile towards women - it seems like a one step forward, two steps back mentality. A very 'us and them' feel.

 

I understand it can be quite confusing for men. Do women want chivalry? Or will they think you're rude and condescending for offering? On occasion, I have had men offer me their seat on the train. I appreciate the gesture, but will decline as I feel that part of feminist equality is believing men have as much right to that seat as I do, given that I'm neither infirm, elderly or pregnant. But I always do so courteously. Once, I saw a gentleman offer his seat to a lady only to have her shout at him "What?! You think I can't stand because I'm a woman?!" - the gentleman was mortified and understandably confused. He felt he was being polite, yet she took it as an insult and an affront! 

 

As far as my lifestyle goes, my fiance and I are very traditional in our gender roles. I enjoy homemaking and I feel that keeping a nice home and knowing that my family is comfortable and well fed is empowering for me, however strange that may be to 'modern women'. We both work and we earn roughly the same amount of money, however we are fortunate that one income is enough for us to live on so we save the other income and would not be adversely should I stop working. When we have children I will choose to be a stay-at-home parent.

 

I prefer my fiance to take on the 'masculine protector' role, and he finds it empowering also. 

 

I guess it's easy for a woman of today, like myself, to chose to lead the life I do because I have the luxury of knowing that these things are not expected or demanded of me by society. I am choosing to live a gender-traditional lifestyle, and it is just that - a choice. If tomorrow I said to my fiance that I wanted to share the household chores and wanted to go for a promotion etc, I would have his support, and perhaps this is what makes it easier and empowering for me to choose to be a homemaker. I also have the benefit of being educated, informed and I know that my opinion matters and that I am welcome to have views that are different from my partner's. 

 

Gender roles in my workplace are also quite defined. Generally, the female employees answer the police emergency calls and the male employees work the unit dispatch radios. These rules are obviously not hard and fast, it's just the culture of the workplace. It's a very masculine culture I guess, and the women are treated like women, but we are always respected.

 

In terms of fashion, I've always embraced a stereotypically feminine aesthetic. I've dressed exclusively in dresses and skirts for most of my teen and adult life (in fact I don't even own any slacks or shorts), I wear my hair long and I enjoy wearing make-up and generally taking care of my appearance. It's just a personal choice and I feel most attractive and confident when I am dressed this way and find that feminine clothing is a more flattering style for my physique. The fact that I enjoy dressmaking as a hobby is also quite convenient as vintage and vintage-repro dresses are quite expensive and generally pretty tiny (which I am not!). 

 

Occasionally, I have met with opposition from others. When I was at university a class mate said to me, 'So one day you'll just quit your job and let your husband take care of you?' as though the only way someone can 'take care' of another is financially and that I would be some kind of lady of leisure. I explained that my husband would take care of both of us financially, and that I would take care of him, the home and myself. I certainly don't feel oppressed, I'm lucky to have a partner who greatly respects and loves me and allows me to be myself, even if that sometimes means forgetting to do the grocery shopping because I (accidentally) watched a whole season of Twilight Zone, whoops!

 

Greetings!

 

Oh yes, regarding the hostility - I've seen this. The irony is that I prefer women as romantic companions, though I have a long history with men. I'm in an ideal "outsider" place though, in that I see most straight women disrespecting men at every turn... they don't even realize that they're doing it. And I see men disrespecting themselves.  Much of modern feminism, too, isn't merely hostile toward men... it's actually hostile toward both women and children. I do like encouraging chivalry and rewarding it with courtesy. It just makes the world a more civil place. I enjoy being chivalrous as well, but I tend to direct that toward women instead of men.

 

Your husband isn't taking care of you. You're being freed up to take care of him, while also taking care of yourself. You're working, it's just at home instead of outside of the house. Our grandmothers understood this. I see myself as a career girl, but if I happened to be straight and had any children, I'd see your set-up as a better way to go. 

 

If we empowered each other instead of each of us treating the world as a zero-sum game, the world would be a saner place.

 

I believe in equality for everyone, regardless of race, gender, sexual preference, religion etc. But as far as feminism goes, I feel that (these days at least) it is much more to do with elevating women above men rather than demanding equality. A lot of 'feminists' that I have met have had hostile attitudes towards men, which in turn causes men to feel hostile towards women - it seems like a one step forward, two steps back mentality. A very 'us and them' feel.

 

Oh yes. 

 

I understand it can be quite confusing for men. Do women want chivalry? Or will they think you're rude and condescending for offering? On occasion, I have had men offer me their seat on the train. I appreciate the gesture, but will decline as I feel that part of feminist equality is believing men have as much right to that seat as I do, given that I'm neither infirm, elderly or pregnant. But I always do so courteously. Once, I saw a gentleman offer his seat to a lady only to have her shout at him "What?! You think I can't stand because I'm a woman?!" - the gentleman was mortified and understandably confused. He felt he was being polite, yet she took it as an insult and an affront! 

 

As far as my lifestyle goes, my fiance and I are very traditional in our gender roles. I enjoy homemaking and I feel that keeping a nice home and knowing that my family is comfortable and well fed is empowering for me, however strange that may be to 'modern women'. We both work and we earn roughly the same amount of money, however we are fortunate that one income is enough for us to live on so we save the other income and would not be adversely should I stop working. When we have children I will choose to be a stay-at-home parent.

 

I prefer my fiance to take on the 'masculine protector' role, and he finds it empowering also. 

 

I guess it's easy for a woman of today, like myself, to chose to lead the life I do because I have the luxury of knowing that these things are not expected or demanded of me by society. I am choosing to live a gender-traditional lifestyle, and it is just that - a choice. If tomorrow I said to my fiance that I wanted to share the household chores and wanted to go for a promotion etc, I would have his support, and perhaps this is what makes it easier and empowering for me to choose to be a homemaker. I also have the benefit of being educated, informed and I know that my opinion matters and that I am welcome to have views that are different from my partner's. 

 

Gender roles in my workplace are also quite defined. Generally, the female employees answer the police emergency calls and the male employees work the unit dispatch radios. These rules are obviously not hard and fast, it's just the culture of the workplace. It's a very masculine culture I guess, and the women are treated like women, but we are always respected.

 

In terms of fashion, I've always embraced a stereotypically feminine aesthetic. I've dressed exclusively in dresses and skirts for most of my teen and adult life (in fact I don't even own any slacks or shorts), I wear my hair long and I enjoy wearing make-up and generally taking care of my appearance. It's just a personal choice and I feel most attractive and confident when I am dressed this way and find that feminine clothing is a more flattering style for my physique. The fact that I enjoy dressmaking as a hobby is also quite convenient as vintage and vintage-repro dresses are quite expensive and generally pretty tiny (which I am not!). 

 

Occasionally, I have met with opposition from others. When I was at university a class mate said to me, 'So one day you'll just quit your job and let your husband take care of you?' as though the only way someone can 'take care' of another is financially and that I would be some kind of lady of leisure. I explained that my husband would take care of both of us financially, and that I would take care of him, the home and myself. I certainly don't feel oppressed, I'm lucky to have a partner who greatly respects and loves me and allows me to be myself, even if that sometimes means forgetting to do the grocery shopping because I (accidentally) watched a whole season of Twilight Zone, whoops!

 

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