I'm in need of feedback, or something.

Not exactly the best thing to say for my first post. I've been a little intimidated about posting this because it's hard to jump in without looking like I'm the new guy trying to push my own projects on everybody. Don't want to sound like I am.

I've been lurking around this sight for more than a year now, trying to soak up as much knowledge as I can from folks wiser than me, which includes about everyone on here. Really, I'm just some amateur putting words down in the computer.

For the last little while, I've been writing a dieselpunk novel, a war story set in a universe of giant landcruisers, armored trains, and airships carrying fighter planes (it's more complicated than just the background shinies, though). Technically, I've had it simmering for over a year, but the last couple of months, I decided to buckle down and finish it. By my estimate (and my halfassed plot outline), I've got about two more chapters to go.

But I've reached a point at which I would like some feedback from people who know the genre better than I do. I need someone to tell me that what I've done isn't crap and it's worth finishing. I mean, I'll finish it regardless, since it's a story I feel the need to tell, but I also want it to be something that other people would enjoy. Not sure what form it'll end up published in, because right now I'd rather focus on just finishing the damn thing.

So, if you waded through all my rambling and are willing to waste some time, what's the best way to proceed? Should I just slap the first couple of chapters up on my site and post a link, post a little more about the world and the story to see if people might be interested, or what?

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Larry on October 15, 2011 at 2:30pm

I would love to but unfortunately my time is so tight I wouldn't be able to give you the help you need.

Permalink Reply by John Picha on October 15, 2011 at 3:16pm

Chef,

To me, helping a fellow artist is never a waste of time.

Free to contact me via email, and we can figure out exactly what I can do to help you wrap up your tale.

takejohn3@yahoo.com

Permalink Reply by John L. Sands on October 15, 2011 at 11:34pm

At one time I was a published technical writer of articles and considered an Information Age evangelist. I am now trying my hand at writing articles on my Website (Amazing Tales, Some True). I have even been a senior editor with the Society for Technical Writing even though I am a novice at syntax and spelling. -Those are my credentials.

Oh Yea, I forgot to mention, when I was growing up I had a complete collection of the works of G.K. Chesterton and Charles Fort. They changed my life in strange and mysterious ways.

The Point:(Finally) I would like to read what you have. If you allow me the first chapter, I would convert it to an epub file and read it on my Color Nook. I don't do dead trees anymore. Save the first chapter in .pdf format and pass it to some people you trust.

Remember, this is your work and style and you shouldn't be discouraged. This writing stuff is nothing more than taste. My favorite author is Orson Scott Card. He teaches writing in South Carolina and has many sci-fi and adventure books on the shelves. He was told by T.O.R. publishing that the only difference between those two genres was the artwork on the cover. If it had tubing and machines, it was sci-fi. If it had trees and animals(of some kind) it was fantasy. He taught me (in his lectures) that the only difference between fact and fiction is the public expects fictional stories to have a logical conclusion.

Google Orsen Scott Card and see if anything he says makes sense.

Permalink Reply by Eldritch Engines on October 16, 2011 at 12:00am

In general, I've found Card's writing to be fun, but as a person, he's a real loonbag of the scary variety.

I'm going to put up the first chapter or two as soon as I can.

Permalink Reply by John Picha on October 16, 2011 at 12:10am

I agree with John L, It's all subjective, and i'll add, there is room in the market for everything.

the other john

Permalink Reply by Eldritch Engines on October 18, 2011 at 4:07pm

Here's the first chapter as PDF. Easiest way to put it up for anybody interested.

Permalink Reply by John Picha on October 18, 2011 at 4:30pm

chef,

your story is compelling and worth pursuing. my advice is, don't get bogged down in editing distractions in the middle of writing the story. It may derail you. I'm not sure how far you are with your tale, but I think, the most importing thing now is to get your story our of your head and onto the page/computer. once you do that, it's very easy to make editing assessments on the content and work with the pieces to make modifications. great work so far, keep going!

john

Permalink Reply by Eldritch Engines on October 18, 2011 at 4:35pm

Actually, I just finished it yesterday.

Permalink Reply by John Picha on October 18, 2011 at 5:00pm

THAT'S GREAT! CONGRATULATIONS! then let me modify my comment. ha ha. so far i would say, you throw a lot of new concept fragments at the reader in 6 pages. i'm assuming you will define them all as the story progresses. you might need to help orient the reader in your creative space to help make the transition from the real world into your fantasy. but that may happen in your next chapter or in an intro. without seeing the entire story it may be hard for me to figure out what may or may not be missing.

what type of feedback are you looking for on your first chapter?

john

Permalink Reply by Eldritch Engines on October 18, 2011 at 6:11pm

Just general stuff, I guess. Howe well it all hangs together. The first five chapters or so have already been edited to hell and back, so the minor stuff like grammar (aside from folksiness as part of the POV) and such should be fixed. The world does unfold over the course of the next five chapters or so, more so from the POV of another character. I'll put up the second if I get a chance. That may help.

Permalink Reply by John Picha on October 18, 2011 at 7:50pm

chef

it think it would be hard for me to tell what elements hang together without seeing the elements in the full context of the story. i'm not sure i would be of much help commenting on your story while getting the chapters piecemeal. it may just end up being a lot of stuff like...

john: "'i'm not sure what an ironheart really is."

chef: "don't worry, that will be answered in a later chapter."

john: "i'm not sure i understand what Holleb's role is."

chef: "don't worry, that answer is coming up."

i might be more useful to you if i read the entire tale once you're ready. that way i can better tell if your objectives have been met, or if there is anything i don't understand about the story, or if i stumble into a plot hole, or if something is out of logical order. working the way i'm suggesting would also be more time-effective for me.

john

Permalink Reply by Eldritch Engines on October 18, 2011 at 8:29pm

True. And understandable. Sorry about that.