You Dry bastards! You dumped it out! Damn you! Damn you to hell!!
Oh, the humanity! The bastards have done it! That damned Russell and his pack of meddling preacher pals and nattering old nannies have, against the will of the majority, pressured through the 18th Amendment, making the production, consumption, and distribution of alcoholic beverages illegal in these United States.
Yes, an amendment that removes a public right rather than protects a right...think about that precident for a minute.
Now, the Temperance Movement and their firebrand Anti-Saloon League radicals can claim the high moral ground all they want, but remember that these same guys and gals put the Washingtonian movement, an honest and highly-sucessful self-help by drunkards for drunkards group, out of business for having the audacity to be more sucessfull at helping people break their drinking problems than the traditional temperance approach of judgementally berating them as "dirty sinners". Keep in mind also the company these so-called Temperance folks keep: yep, they're closely allied to our "old frineds" the Klan. Those same whiskey-swilling murderers in the white robes. No longer content to simply hang colored folks or harass catholics, the KKK was an instrumental ally in the 18th Amendment and the follow-on Volstead Act.
Hooray for American Democracy.
Now the government is going on a booze-dumping spree, disgracefully pouring gallon after gallon into the rivers (lucky fish). Not just the hard stuff neither, but beer and wine, even communion wine - so much for Christian Soldiers. Apparently spilling the blood of the savior is a perfectly acceptable collateral casualty to these hypocrites in their War on Rum.
Meanwhile, you can talk to the Reefer Man right there on the street corner in Harlem or swing by Chinatown and kick the gong any time, but having a beer after a hard day at the factory? Nice try, you filthy sinner!
I hardly know what to play for today's Cabaret. Some mourning song, perhaps. A down-tempo durge? Or bow to our new white-gowned temperance overlords and play "Not One Drop".
How about Nora Bayes and the ol' Prohibition Blues?
So here ya' go, pally, enjoy a nice cup of Joe for today's Cocktail:
[image from simpalife.com]
Place ground coffee into a french press. Heat water to boiling and pour over grounds in press. Let steep 2-4 minutes, stirring vigorously. Pour into cup & add cream and sugar to taste (optional). Sell the hot coffee to neighbor for a nickle and use nickle to hop a streetcar to the train station. Take train to Canada and have a proper drink.
Four and twenty Yankees, feeling very dry,
Went across the border to get a drink of rye.
When the rye was opened, the Yanks began to sing,
"God bless America, but God save the King!"