Calling all Listeners! Calling all Listeners! This is your Cap'n, calling in LIVE over the airwaves in the exciting new media of Wireless Broadcasting!
Yes, exciting times we live in where my voice can be heard, live, from a thousand parlors in a thousand homes! Truly wondrous times we live in.
With a simple wooden box no bigger than a small cabinet anyone can listen to the sounds of a live performer, giving access to the sounds of the stage and the excitement and intimacy of a live performance to all, not just the privilaged few [image from electronicana.co.uk]. Did you ever think such things would be possible?
Yes, wireless technology is the Future Today. Who knows what it will bring next? Moving pictures? Newspapers? We at the now Wireless Cabaret can only guess, but this is sure to help bring a new age of intellectual discourse to the world and open up new avenues for information and discussions.
Of course it's also a good place for entertainment, and for today's opening edition of the Wireless Cabaret we bring you the great Vaudeville-to-Broadway performer, ol' Banjo Eyes himself, Eddie Cantor with a lovely duo-meddly of a couple of his most popular works.
Yes, folks at home, that was not a recording. That was the man himself, singing LIVE! No lies! Isn't that just the Cat's Pajamas?
But the wireless is also a place for social responsibility and law, so today I'm going to take a few moments on a serious note and give all the listeners at home a dire warning about the scourge of illegal alcohol. Not just because the federal government is mandating it but because following the law is important. Illegal back-room bars attract all sorts of undesireable types, like loose women who wear short skirts and smoke, free-wheeling jazz musicians, and fun-loving folks who laugh and carry on in a wholly undiginified way. Really, you do not want to face the temptation of raucous good times in a back room with loud music, fun-loving musicians, and scantilly-clad women, you really don't.
And don't forget about the tempting drinks they serve, wholly against the law. Right now, speakeasys across America, possibly one right in your neighborhood, kids, are awash with a popular cocktail known as the Eddy. This mix of equal parts gin, vermouth, and orange juice should absolutely NOT be consumed, for it is illegal. This cocktail is particularly dangerous as the vermouth and orange juice help to cover the foul taste of the illicit Bathtub Gin, or so the Cap'n has heard.
So please DO NOT try at home to make an:
[image from s-cocktail-n.high-ks.com]
DO NOT mix equal parts Gin, Dry Vermouth, and Orange Juice. DO NOT stir well over ice and strain into a cocktail glass. And most importantly, DO NOT DRINK AND ENJOY THIS ILLEGAL BEVERAGE.
Remember, kids, drinking is Very BAD. Set the moral example and stand up for the law - don't be a scoff-law like all your friends and the more popular kids. You certainly won't catch the Cap'n drinking in public.
This is Your Moral Crusader, the Cap'n, signing off...